it takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is.

kita stop sekejap tentang wedding. tentang marriage. tentang engagement.

we go back to the fundamental of a relationship. the love, the different side of it.

the bittersweet, without the word 'sweet'. means, bitter.

the 'hiccups' in a relationship.

mari kita bercerita tentang ini. yang gembira senang nak kongsi, kan? tapi yang bitter semua kalau boleh kita nak pendam. sebenarnya takde orang nak biacara yang tak best-tak best. sedangkan itu wujud. if you only have all the sweet moments in a relationship, oh you have a problem.

anyway.

dalam relationship, we actually grow. not only grow the relationship, but also the person himself and herself are growing.

kadang-kadang, awalnya kita nampak orang kesayangan kita ni begini-begini. lepas setahun dua tahun kemudian, eh lain pulak dari yang kita kenal dia dahulu.

and we said, 'he has changed', 'she has changed'.

tak kira the changes is in positive way, or negative, or even neutral... but the person has changed.

a friend once said to me, "sometimes people don't change, sometimes they reveal."

reveal dalam konteks kat sini macam show the true color lah.

people changes.

people reveals.

and..

after being with my najib for approximately 5 years in a relationship, i has discovered one more context.

people grows.

our lover, they grow.

sometimes they don't change, they don't reveal either. but they grow.

mereka buat sesuatu yang baru, yang mungkin kita boleh terima dengan senang hati @ berat hati.

contoh yang saya dapat bagi seperti dulu najib tak pakai glasses, tapi beberapa bulan lepas dia start pakai.

dan saya masih pandang dia lain macam bila tengok dia pakai glasses.

and parallel with life, they grow. too.

dulu-dulu masa belajar kita bercinta cara orang belajar. dan bagi yang bercinta dengan kadet, we know the drill. the curfew, the no-certainty-situation, etc.

tapi bila dah masuk berkerja ni, dah lain...

kita sesuaikan diri kita dengan working life dan pada masa yg sama nak fahamkan our brain yang partner kita sekarang bukan kadet lagi tapi dah kerja.

susah tak???

susah.........

i still remember bila najib commissioned, i felt so happy finally he was out from Upnm, i know he might be busy, but not so busy likes in Upnm.

i was so wrong. and i was super wrong as i couldn't even meet him for 5 months since dia masuk unit. contact pun sangat2 jarang. oh yes... melaka-seremban bukan jauh tapi jadi macam sangat jauhhh. kalau duduk borneo ke kita akan lebih rasional, sebab memanglah tak dapat jumpa. tapi bila dekat macam tu memang sebagai perempuan emosi cepat terganggu.

waktu tu apa perasaan??

macam-macam rasa. dealing with practicum teaching, not able to meet him, and the agony of engagement needed to be postponed.. seriously rasa painful.

tambah-tambah bila tak ada orang di sekeliling yg memahami. waktu tu hardly kenal mana-mana military's partner.

kerana yang akan faham hanyalah orang yang in-relationship with a military person too. orang lain memang tak faham..

waktu tu juga setan [bukan seth tan ye...] kerap jugak mencucuk-cucuk suruh give-up aje la..bla..bla.. mula la question diri sendiri, kenapa lah relationship tak macam orang lain.

tapi,

don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling.

kerana apa yg kita rasa tu mungkin sekejap saja. kadang-kadang bila tengah beremosi macam tu kita terlupa sekejap masa-masa bahagia kita dengan orang kesayangan.

kita terlupa sekejap yang keadaan mereka sekarang, bukan kehendak mereka.

kita terlupa sekejap yang sebenarnya sokongan kita lah yang paling mereka perlu selain daripada keluarga.

to all dear lovelies, i dedicate Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz, for you... :)